have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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