I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
