We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Lo siento on account of my penis...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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