I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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