will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
