Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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