Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Randomize
