..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
