All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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