New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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