we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
