I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
