I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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