there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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