BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
