She's JV to your varsity
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How does it feel to date your dad?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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