I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
