I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
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