My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I would ride that face into the sunset
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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