are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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