I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
