i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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