i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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