Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
