you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
