I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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