I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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