The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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