I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
