I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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