You were right. It hurts to walk today.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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