dude i'm inner monologue high
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
