I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
