One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
