I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My dick has a subreddit
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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