i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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