god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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