I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
