The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
