you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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