I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
