I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
