Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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