Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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