Did you just see the Batmobile???
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
