What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize