Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
