Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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