i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
