Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
