I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
