This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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