You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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