now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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