i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
