dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
